At some point on Oct. 1, 2015, someone somewhere uploaded a video to YouTube entitled, “What Do You Mean / Epic Segway Dance Cover @justinbieber.”
The question we need answered is this: Did whoever uploaded the video know, at that exact moment, that humanity as we now know it would never be the same?
“What Do You Mean / Epic Segway Dance Cover @justinbieber” clocks in at two minutes and 50 seconds, but it’s actually much longer than that, as it is impossible to watch the video without immediately going back to the start and watching it again.
The video features five male dancers riding Segways (or PhunkeeDucks or Hoverboards or whatever) in choreographed motion to create what is inarguably an Epic Segway Dance Cover of “What Do You Mean?” by Justin Bieber. It is, without a doubt, the greatest thing humanity has ever created. Sorry, cheeseburgers.
Let us walk through some of the video’s greatest moments, starting with our protagonist, who we will refer to from here on out as Robert.
Oh, you say texting while Segway-ing is dangerous? Robert couldn’t care less what you think. He needs to meet up with The Boys ASAP.
Now, Robert doesn’t meet up with his friends like you meet up with your friends. No, he does it in a way that is so much cooler than you, so much smoother. Oh, hi, guys. Didn’t see you there.
The thing you need to know about the five dancers who make up the “What Do You Mean / Epic Segway Dance Cover @justinbieber” dance crew is that they are more in time with one another than the earth is with the moon, than the sun is with the planets. That all goes to say: they are really coordinated with one another.
Let’s take a moment and give credit where credit is due. It’s not just the dancers who do great work in the YouTube video “What Do You Mean / Epic Segway Dance Cover @justinbieber.” It is also the camera people. This is some “Matrix”-level stuff.
Honestly, these guys are just really good at Segway-ing while incorporating dance moves into their lives.
Oh, did you want to see how much more amazing that move got?
Then there is the stop. Man, is there the stop. Could watch these guys turn and stop all day, honestly. “Oh!” Robert seems to scream. That is the confidence of a man who knows he is better at what he does than anyone else on the planet, like Michael Jordan in the ’90s.
But hey, you can’t Segway while dancing forever. So at some point. it’s time to say goodbye with an epic friend hold-slash-jump thing. All you can say is “Wow.” Wow.
Thank you, “What Do You Mean / Epic Segway Dance Cover @justinbieber.” Thank you. Somewhere, Justin Bieber is crying tears of joy. We certainly are.
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